THE CRIMEA

May 2002

May 4th
Klutzville Gigs.
Klutzville are playing at The Borderline on two dates.
Thursday 13th June, doors open at 8pm, ?6 in advance, ?7 on the door. “With a different name and new songs The Crocketts return to our venue once again.” Call 020 7395 0777 for Tickets. Click the link for more details – http://www.borderline.co.uk/html/band.php?id=286
Monday 24th June supporting the Suffrajets doors open at 8pm, ?6 in advance, ?7 on the door. “The band formally known as The Crocketts returns to present their new material.” Call 020 7395 0777 for Tickets. Click the link for more details – http://www.borderline.co.uk/html/band.php?id=285
The Borderline has a capacity of 275 and is located near Oxford Street in London. Click the link for a map – http://www.borderline.co.uk/html/map.php

6th May
I’ve put all the Frog On A Stick EP tracks on audiogalaxy, along with Pedro and a cover of Stunner by Da Grubby Adipose Flange. I should be getting my crox stuff tomorrow if the postman doesn’t eat it and I’ll scan t’s/rip tracks from cd’s then. Anyone going to London?

7th May
According to mr jon, Owen is deputy editor of “The Fly” magazine. Might explain why they always give the crox good reviews. Sadly you can only buy them at barfly venues, so get yourself over to Sheffield, Manchester, Cardiff or Camden in London and buy as many copies as you can.
The address on the order forms.
Before you think about it, you don’t have one of The Crocketts home addresses. It’s the address for “The Fly” magazine. Fly Enterprises Ltd, 109x Regents Park Rd, London, NW1 8UR to be exact. bollocks…

10th May
Another name change.
Klutzville are now known as The Crimea.
Appart from that, they’re still playing the same Klutzville gigs on the 13th and 28th of June, aswell as an extra gig supporting Wilmer in Cardiff on the 7th June in the Barfly at 7.30pm. It costs ?4 and is over 18′s only. Click the link to get ticketts – http://www.ticketweb.co.uk/user/?region=uk&query=search&category=misc&search=the+crimea&beginmonth=05&beginday=10&beginyear=2002

14th May
The end?
Anyone trying to access crocketts.net will have noticed it’s dissapeared. And anyone trying to find info on the gigs will have noticed they’ve dissapeared too. Now i’m not one to panick too much but FUUCCCKKKKKKK THEY’VE SPLIT UP EVERYTHING’S GONE THERE’S NO MORE CROCKETTS NO KLUTZVILLE NOT EVEN ANY BLOODY CRIMEA NO NO NOOOOOOO IT’S NOT FAIR I WANT DAVEY BACK WHERE IS EVERYTHING AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH…

17th May
Badness
Very very bad badness stuff. I don’t know deffinately but I’m pretty sure Dan Harris has left The Crocketts, and I don’t think anyone needs to worry about names anymore because it looks pretty much like they’ve split up. Even if they haven’t, it’s just Davey and Owen now, and if they have, look out for Rich in a biology class teaching kids how to put frogs on sticks, Dan in your local Sainsburys, Owen could turn up on tour with the Stereophonics again and Davey, well, if he’s not put in a mental institution, I’m guessing he’ll go back to singing about blue dogs and bacon butties on street corners. Watch out the next time you see a busker, it could be Davey Crockett. He’s a bit insane, bit weird looking, but one day he could get together with a couple of uni kids, make a band, and become a big rock star. Fish On A Stick EP anyone?

20th May
A new beggining?
The Crimea are playing at the Little Civic in Wolverhamton.
Fuckin bullshit that’s what I says but hey, tics are ?5, doors open at 7.30.
Here’s the link http://www.wolvescivic.co.uk/GIGS/THECRIMEA.htm. Oh and if you didn’t know, Dan may have left, and they may also have a new bassist. The web sites down because the money ran out, which was kindly pay’d by V2, before they dropped The Crocketts. That’d be 7.11.01. I just found that out so that’d make it over 6 months without a lable. But have they got a new one?

22nd May
Like I said, bullshit, the gig’s been cancelled. But what’s this about a new bass player?
You guessed it, that’s bullshit too. As far as news goes, Someone’s heard bad rumors, someone else has heard bad rumors and said the one about Dan is true, Holly hasn’t heard anything, but she thinks she’s got an idea why they’ve cancelled the gigs, jon also thinks he knows why they’ve cancelled the gigs which involves them and a new record deal, mother goose herself has given up hope and Owen isn’t saying anything at all. So the only official stuff seems to be bad rumors, Dan leaving. It’s splitting time again.

23rd May

From : “The Crocketts” the.crocketts@virgin.net
To : Undisclosed-Recipient:;
Subject : The End
Date : Thu, 23 May 2002 20:00:39 +0100

dearly beloved,

We are sad to announce the untimely death of The Crocketts. Springing into being from the sun-kissed loins of Cal-y-ffornia (Welsh for Aberystwyth) in 1996, The Crocketts were shot down in the springtime of their life. Turns out Cardiff Arms Park was the last ever gig. We were pissed on, shat on, raped and abused, but the five year journey was never anything short of monumental – we thank you all.

This e-mail was supposed to announce details of our new tour,name and music, as we have spent the last year or so recording new stuff in preperation for the comeback of the century. However last friday our plans were struck a tragic and unforeseen blow, when Dan decided to leave. The remaining two members are in shock. All the gigs have been cancelled and everything is currently in disarray.

Mementos of the deceased can be purchased from the list of recordings, t-shirts and rarities below (all proceeds will go towards the funeral).

Davey will be playing two solo shows as :Kernel Krok: on 2nd and 16th of july at Barfly Acoustic@The Enterprise, Chalk Farm Rd, Camden. Tickets are priced ?4 and available from Ticketline on 08709 070999 or www.barflyclub.com

The war is over. Tragedy rocks.

The artists formally known as the crocketts.

============================================================================================

The above is from an e-mail sent to everyone on The Crocketts mailing list.
Also with the email was an updated merchandise list, which can be found in the shop page.
You can buy tickets to the gigs here http://www.ticketweb.co.uk/user/uk/venues/misc/enterprise?interface=barfly.

============================================================================================

Well, it’s not like no one saw it coming. But you can bet no one saw Stuff Your Cherry Pie for a fiver coming. I suggest everyone get’s themselves down to London on the 2nd, we can all stay in Jon’s house :o ) You can buy tickets here http://www.ticketweb.co.uk/user/uk/venues/misc/enterprise?interface=barfly the gigs are both on tuesdays, doors open at 7.30pm. And never fear, The Crocketts may be gone, but the army’s still here, and if The Crocketts aren’t gonna make any more cd’s, I bloody well will. Watch out for a live gig cd, with about 16 tracks on recorded from 3 seperate gigs, a load of rare tracks, dunno what I’ll do with that one though now FOAS is available for everyone, and a cd with some videos of live performances and music vids. I’m guessing the official site won’t come back, so I’ll try and get the rest of the Klutzville mp3′s up pretty soon, along with anything else I can get ahold of. See you at the barfly.

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