THE CRIMEA

Cheese.

Is it just me or is everyone talking about cheese recently? Cheese cheese cheese. Everyone over at the brand spaking new CRIMEA LIVEJOURNAL COMMUNITY seems to be talking about it. Makes me want some :o ( I think it’s punishment for not having those cheese and cranberry bitelet fried thingys the other day. They looked so yummy. I had mushroom pasta instead, cos my head told me it was healthier. It made want to throw up. So much for healthy… Mushrooms suck.
White Russian Galaxy?Someone’s been bugging me to post the image to the left. I don’t know what it’s supposed to be, but seems likely that Kanye West is The Crimea’s biggest new fan. Either that or now *everyone’s* gonna know what the next single will be. Damn you Crimea, it’s right spoiled the surprise now. I never guessed it I swear. PS. yes I know the radio thing gets in the way. Click and hold the white bar to drag it, click the x to close it. :o ( It won’t be there much longer…
Also jumping on the Crimea bandwaggon are those lowlife scenester tabloid… wait, what am I thinking… the UK’s *favourite* music mag the New Musical Express, who have decided their previous lableing of the band (albeid in their former format) as “indie nearly-men” was selling a few too little issues for them, and now describe The Crimea (on page 22, Jan 21st issue) as “underrated indie hopefuls”. No doubt they’ll change their mind once the band aren’t in the top 40 anymore. So that’d be… this week then. Sucks. Err… In the same issue (page 52) you can also find an advert for the upcoming UK tour with surprisingly more up to date gig details than this site. Shoot me, I had exams. Also, on page 41, the Tragedy Rocks album is featured as one of four recommended albums in a full page Virgin Megastores advert. One hates to think how many album sales will be needed to pay for all that lot.
Sometimes contributer to Inaudible.co.uk, Stuart Denyer has his own review of the Lottery Winners On Acid single up on his own homepage. Possibly one of the most detailed reviews you’ll read, deffinately the only one mentioning all the b-sides, and in my head is the only guy not to have been paid to review it one way or another. “At first you just think it’ll be … then the tall black aliens show up.” Yeah, I get that feeling all the time…
“Oh Oh I did..” was my response after reading Rock Feedback’s review of the single. Read it yourself to see why. They give it 4/5, which is better than Yahoo’s 6/10, but bloody hell they must be kicking themselves. “A schoolboy lack of knowledge about the drug in question” Well, I like to think that too… and as far as not entering the top 40? Awww. You have to feel sorry for the guy though, don’t ya? He must be going for a job on Blue Peter or something. “More likely to put you in hospital”. He’s half right.

The Crimea – ‘Lottery Winners On Acid’ (Warners)

TheA re-release by a band who were once The Crocketts, and thus might be familiar to anyone who read a photocopied fanzine back in the distant days of the late 90s.

?Lottery Winners on Acid? blends Eels kookiness, Super Furry Animals sunny-side up absurdist pop glee and the wide-eyed oddball wonder of Mercury Rev?s ?Deserters? Songs?. It?ll make you forget it?s January and freezing cold out, as well as setting the first benchmark for singles in 2006.

Review by Matt Tomiak for Rock Feedback, 17/01/06.

The Crimea – ‘Lottery Winners On Acid’

Released on 09/01/06
Label: Warners

Overwhelmed music journalists often use drugs for that extra push of prose impetus when constructing their literal cathedrals of sound. For example, “tonight’s gig was like being hit by a flood of bubbling lava” might become “tonight’s gig was like being hit by a flood of bubbling lava. On acid”. Presumably, The Crimea were looking for a similar dose of drama for this, the latest stab at fame for Davey MacManus, formerly of The Crocketts.

However, as with our aforementioned scribes, “Lottery Winners On Acid” displays a schoolboy lack of knowledge about the drug in question. The elated joy, or perhaps ecstasy, of trousering a life-altering feast of cash would be utterly warped by such a baffling, disorientating experience as dropping LSD in the celebratory aftermath. It’d be more likely to put you in hospital than on cloud nine or, in this case, the higher echelons of the UK charts.

Indeed, more seriously for The Crimea, this is too feeble, jaunty and diluted to meet the not entirely unreasonable comparisons with fried-pop heroes The Flaming Lips and Pavement that have been made of the band. However, it does have a skewed pop charm that could yet give them a winning shot at the local bingo. On crack.

Rating: 6 / 10.

Review by Ben Gilbert for Yahoo Music, 17/01/06.

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4 Responses to “Cheese.”

  1. Sarah says:

    Well I for one love the cover to WRG. SOOOOO Glad it’s the next single. I think they’ll have another hit with that too! Bring on the expansion of the Crimea empire!

  2. Denyer says:

    > A schoolboy lack of knowledge about the drug in question

    Actually, I have it on extremely good authority that you want to be outdoors whilst tripping. As the song doesn’t mention a time of day, I’m assuming the people in question are hopping, skipping and jumping down the middle of a high street at 3am, heading for the hillside near Pentre Jane Morgan to pick mushies.

    And then they’ll probably wake me up a few hours later when they barge in with mild hypothermia, desperately clutching cartons of orange juice.

    Silly mister Gilbert, eh?

    > Someone’s been bugging me to post the image to the left.

    Which is fuckin’ wicked, and definitely eye-catching.

  3. Chris D says:

    Love the cover! A post-absurdist classic! Love the juxtaposition of the image and the title, too. Funny as F.

    To add to Denyer’s comments, I have it on extremely good authority that Davey’s knowledge of the drug is anything but ‘schoolboy’. As a disciple of Shane Macgowan, who took it for years, I’m sure he’s more of an expert than the cretin that wrote the review. In fact, I’d put a huge wager on it.

  4. Katie says:

    am I right in thinking Andrew Stafford is the keyboard player with The Crimea? How odd if he is!?! (I thought us country hicks were shot on sight if we ever dared stray far from the fellsides and actually got ourselves taken seriously as musicians!!) and good on him, hurray for Cockermouth, Mr Bennett must be so proud! ;-)

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